As FBI investigated Petraeus, he and Allen intervened in nasty child custody battle

Amy Scherzer / Tampa Bay Times via Zuma Press The woman who triggered the investigation that led to the resignation of CIA chief David Petraeus threw lavish parties for top military brass – and also racked up debt. NBC's Kristen Welker reports.

By Michael Isikoff
NBC News

Then-CIA Director David Petraeus and Gen. John Allen, commander of  U.S. and NATO troops in Afghanistan, intervened in a Washington, D.C., custody battle in September, writing letters on behalf of a woman who was found by a judge to have a "severe deficit in honesty and integrity."
The woman, Natalie Khawam, is the twin sister of Tampa socialite Jill Kelley, who has emerged as a central figure in the scandal that led to Petraeus’ resignation last week.
The letters, which have been obtained by NBC News, were filed in court on behalf of Khawam, who the judge hearing the case harshly criticized for a “stunning willingness to say anything, even under oath, to advance her own interests.” At the time, Khawam was seeking to relax a judge's order restricting her visits with her now 4-year-old son. Holly Petraeus, the wife of the ex-CIA director previously signed an affidavit in support of Khawam, according to the lawyer for Grayson Wolfe, Khawam's ex-husband. The letters were first reported by the New York Post.

Gen. John Allen, right, commander of U.S. and NATO forces in Afghanistan, and former CIA Director David Petraeus appear ath the White House on April 28, 2011.

The letters came to light after Kelley emerged as a key player in the scandal surrounding emails that officials say were written by Petraeus biographer Paula Broadwell a trail of correspondence that led to Petraeus’ resignation as CIA director and a Pentagon investigation of Allen over what defense officials have described as “potentially inappropriate” emails he exchanged with Kelley.
The legal battle between Khawam and Wolfe has been bitter, according to court records. Both sides have accused one another of repeatedly lying to the court -- including about invitations to events involving prominent members of Congress.
The court records also shed some light on the lifestyle of the Kelley family: At one point, the judge who had directed Kelley's sister to pay child support and the legal fees of her ex-husband noted that Khawam lived "rent-free in Florida with her sister" in a home described as a "ten bedroom mansion in a beautiful neighborhood right on Tampa Bay."
The judge also ruled that Jill Kelley was a "patently biased and unbelievable witness" when she testified about an alleged case of domestic abuse by her twin sister's ex-husband.
In a Nov. 9, 2011, ruling, D.C. Superior Court Judge Neal E. Kravitz dismissed Kelley's testimony that she saw Wolfe push Khawam down a flight of stairs inside the Kelleys’ home. Kelley testified that her sister was holding the couple's baby in one hand and "somehow was able to stand her ground on the staircase" as Wolfe, "who is substantially larger and stronger ... pushed Ms. Khawam from above with both hands and all of his might."
"The court does not credit this testimony," Kravitz wrote, after calling Kelley an "unbelievable witness." He called it "part of an ever-expanding set of sensational accusations against Mr. Wolfe that are so numerous, so extraordinary and ... so distorted that they defy any common sense view of reality."

Amy Scherzer / Tamp

Petraeus and Allen entered the case two months ago, penning separate letters attesting to Khawam’s parenting.
"My wife and I have known Natalie for approximately three years, getting to know her while serving in Tampa, Florida, through her friendship with Dr. and Mrs. Scott Kelley," Petraeus wrote in his letter dated Sept. 20, identifying himself under his signature as "General, U.S. Army (Retired.) "
He added that he has observed Khawam  with her son on many occasions, "including when we hosted them and the Kelley family for Christmas dinner this past year. “It was "clear to me," he added, that Natalie's son "would benefit from much more time with his Mother and from removal of the burdensome restrictions imposed on her."
Allen's letter, dated Sept. 22, which identified him under his signature as "General, United States Marine Corps," is similar. It stated that he had gotten to know Khawam while serving at the U.S. Central Command in Florida and observed her with her son "on multiple occasions" at "command social functions."
"In light of Natalie's maturity, integrity and steadfast commitment to raising her child, I humbly request your reconsideration of the existing mandated custody settlement," the letter concluded.
Defense official fires back, denies Afghanistan commander exchanged 'inappropriate' emails
A source familiar with Kelley’s views said Tuesday night that both Petraeus and Allen have been friends of Kelley and her sister Khawam for years. The source added:  “When you're involved in a custody issue, you want letters of support. There is nothing unusual about that.”
Sandra Wilkof, the lawyer for ex-husband Wolfe, said the letters from both high ranking military men misstated the facts of the case. Both letters asked the court to change the terms of a "court settlement" between the couple. In fact, Wilkof, said, "There was no court settlement. There was a court order," she said, awarding custody to Wolfe and supervised visits for Khawam.
Judge Kravitz has not given Wolfe a free pass. He wrote in the Nov. 9, 2011 ruling that Wolfe "does not possess an entirely healthy psychological make-up.” And he noted that Wolfe had taken “questionable deductions” on his tax returns and “may have been less than fully candid in his testimony about contacts he may have had with the FriendFinder online dating service.
But he has saved his harshest words for Khawam, writing that  Mr. Wolfe is much more honest than Ms. Khawam, and he conducts himself with far greater integrity.
In the ruling, he found that Khawam had taken the couple's son to Florida when he was only four months old  and refused to tell Wolfe of his whereabouts, ignored court orders to allow visits with his father,  changed the boy's first name without his father's knowledge  and made unfounded claims of abuse against her ex-husband.
The evidence established that Ms. Khawam has extreme personal deficits in the areas of  honesty and integrity, Kravitz wrote. Ms. Khawam's false domestic violence petitions (and her equally false testimony at trial relating to many of the same allegations) are merely the most stunning examples of Ms. Khawam's willingness to say anything, even under oath, to advance her own personal interests at the expense of Mr. Wolfe, the child, and others.
Khawam's lawyer, Greg Jacob, with the law firm of O'Melveny & Myers, did not respond to requests for comment.
In the latest wrinkle in the case, Wolfe's lawyer filed a motion on Oct. 26 opposing the efforts of Khawam to modify the visitation schedule, saying that neither of the letters by Petraeus and Allen promised “corroborating testimony” relevant to the court's determination.
The motion also argued that Khawam had misrepresented social events she had asked the court to let her attend with her son. In one case, Wolfe's motion stated, Khawam had asked the court to let her take her son to a "family clambake" at "the personal invitation" of Rhode Island Sen. Sheldon Whitehouse. In fact, the motion states, this was "nothing more than a political fundraising event.
On other occasions, the motion states, Khawam had sought to take her son to events with "Senator Kerry" and the baptism of "former Congressman Patrick Kennedy's child" in New Jersey. In fact, the motion states, the invitation to be with Sen. John Kerry was a Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee event in Martha's Vineyard and that he denied her request to take the boy to those events because he did not believe it was in "the child's best interests."

Read more »

Woman could break Chinese political glass ceiling

In a moment between two influential female leaders, Hilary Clinton and Liu Yandong shake hands in a meeting in May 2010.

Hong Kong (CNN) -- A record number of American women will hold U.S. Senate seats after Tuesday's election. In China, there is speculation over whether a woman will also make history by ascending to its top political core.

No woman has ever held a post in the elite nine-member Standing Committee of the Politburo that governs China. Thousands of senior Chinese officials gathered in Beijing this week and at the end of the conference next week, a new set of leaders will be unveiled.

Some observers consider Liu Yandong a possible contender for the exclusive ruling committee. Liu is the lone female member of the Politburo, a 24-member body atop the Chinese Communist Party. If promoted to the standing committee, Liu would make a crack in the political glass ceiling.

Even with the historic prospect of a woman joining the most powerful Chinese political entity, some are skeptical of the overall progress for Chinese women in power.

Hear the voices of China's workers

'Leading Women' with drive for success

Chen as a defender of women's rights

Economist: Excited about China's future

"I think women's participation in politics in China remains largely symbolic due to complicated social, cultural, and political factors," said Xi Chen, assistant professor of political science at the University of Texas-Pan American.

Liu is the daughter of Liu Ruilong, the former vice minister of agriculture. She is also said to have strong family ties with former Chinese President Jiang Zemin as well as President Hu Jintao. She is part of the "princeling class," the sons or daughters of revolutionary veterans who now number among the nation's elite.

"If Liu Yandong is appointed to the Politburo Standing Committee, it would be a milestone for female political representation in China and an indication that the Chinese government is ready to place a woman in a position of genuine power," said Leta Hong Fincher, doctoral candidate at Tsinghua University, who examines gender issues in China. "But that move alone would not necessarily lead to an improvement in the overall status of women."

If chosen for the committee, Liu will most likely take the position of the "propaganda tsar," according to Hoover Institution, which is based at Stanford University. The group described Liu as "liberal minded."

Chinese data show that women lag in political representation. Only 2.2% of working women were in charge of the state offices, party organizations and other enterprises or institutions, according to the Third 's Social Status, a national survey released last year.

During the presentation of these survey results, officials from the All-China Women's Federation, a women's advancement organization affiliated with the government, was asked why the Chinese leadership lacked women.

Song Xiuyan, the vice-chairman of the federation said the Communist Party of China and the government places "great importance to empower women's issues, which our Constitution has clearly put forward the basic principle of 'gender equality.'"

The Women's Studies Institute of China, which is sponsored by the All-China Women's Federation, declined multiple requests for comment.

"The relatively small number of female politicians in China is a topic criticized by Western media," reported Xinhua, the state-run news agency in March.

The news agency stated: "However, the ratio of female national lawmakers stands at 22%, compared with only 17% in the United States."

Girl power in China

Dating shows give Chinese women power

Woman at the heart of 'China's Google'

Who is Xi Jinping?

China ranks 63rd in the world by percentage of women serving in a legislative house, compared with U.S. at 80th, according to July data compiled by the Inter-Parliamentary Union, an international organization of parliaments.

That ranking may be out-of-date after the U.S. elections this week. Female candidates made huge gains and stand to occupy a record 20 seats out of the 100 in the U.S. Senate.

Women in China have made important strides in recent years. Chinese women receive an average of 8.8 years of education compared with 2.7 years in 2000, according to the national survey.

And studies find that women are outperforming men in universities, said Fincher of Tsinghua University.

But their education does not translate to economic and political power.

"You see that in the workplace, there's a lot of systemic gender discrimination in the workplace, there's discrimination in hiring and promotion," Fincher said. "There has also been a lot of evidence that the gender income gap has widened, especially in the very recent years."

Statistically, women's average annual income was 67.3 % of men's in urban areas and 56% in rural areas which reflected a decrease compared with the wage gap in 1990, according to the 2010 national survey.

There are exceptions as some women have achieved the pinnacle of financial success. In the Huron Report's list of the world's top female billionaires, 18 out of 28 came from China.

"Of course China is the most populous country in the world," Fincher said. "Of course you're going to have individual women who are incredibly successful. That doesn't say anything about the status of the vast majority of women."

For Chinese workers, gender-targeted job ads stipulate the age, height and desired physical attributes of female applicants, according to studies on the topic.

And the recent survey results suggest that more people believe that Chinese women should focus on family, rather than getting involved in public life or careers.

In the national survey, 62% of men and 55% of women agreed with this statement: "Men should mainly focus on career and women should be family oriented."

The number of people who agreed with that statement increased by 7.7% and 4.4% for men and women, respectively, in the past 12 years compared with their views in 2000 -- signaling "a resurgence of traditional beliefs about gender roles," Fincher said.

Gender issues are sensitive in China, especially in a country dogged by a history of preference for males and sex-selective abortion that has resulted in a lopsided population. Male births outpaced female births 118 to 110, according to Xinhua.

Read more »

A father seeks peace in a place of war

Robert Stokely: My son didn't die in vain

(CNN) -- Robert Stokely fired up his computer and began a journey to a place an ocean and continent away, to a land of parched earth and dusty brush not far from the banks of the Euphrates.

Yusufiya.

It is the Iraqi town where Robert's son Mike was killed on a hot August night in 2005. A place that haunted him.

Robert showed me his Google Earth mapping ritual the first time I met him in his office in suburban Atlanta.

It was almost a year after Mike's death, and he was tortured by the thought that he might die without ever seeing where his son fell.

Sgt. Michael Stokely was killed in Iraq in August, 2005.

Now, when I meet him for lunch at a sports bar more than six years later, it is as though a great weight has been lifted.

The sorrow of losing a child, unimaginable to many of us, never withers.

Robert still wears Mike's dog tag around his neck and occasionally sleeps in his son's bedroom, frozen in time with Mike's Green Day CDs and military memorabilia.

On a shelf in the room sits a round clock that Robert bought for $4.98. He stopped it at 2:20 a.m., the time of Mike's death, and in black marker scribbled the date: August 16.

Robert still does the things that made his grief so visible to me in the aftermath of Mike's death. But Robert's voice is steadier now. He can finish most of his sentences without tears.

I know that it is because of that place -- Yusufiya.

Visible grief

In 2005, I was a newspaper reporter embedded with Mike's National Guard brigade, the 48th Infantry.

His unit, Troop E of the 108th Cavalry Regiment, slept in a rat-infested potato factory in Yusufiya and patrolled the restive town and its outskirts, never knowing who was friend or foe.

The insurgency was raging in Iraq, and Yusufiya lay in a part of the country that gained notoriety as the Triangle of Death as more and more American soldiers lost their lives on bomb-laden roads.

That's how Mike was killed. He stepped out of his Humvee during a night operation, and a bomb sent shrapnel slicing through his body.

I wrote about Mike's memorial ceremony at a forward operating base not far from where he died. His friends occupied rows of folding metal chairs set up in front of a pair of Mike's desert boots. His dog tags hung from an upended rifle.

Robert read that story. And we began a conversation, first through e-mail, and later in person, when I returned from Iraq.

It struck me from the beginning how open he was; few parents of soldiers I'd met were so grittily honest.

We order bowls of vegetable soup and after small talk, I decide to ask him why he chose to be so public with his sorrow.

"I would rather tell the story as it is than have people fill in the blanks," he says.

There's another reason, too, why Robert has been so forthcoming.

"I want people who killed my son to know they failed in their mission," he says. "They wanted to leave us as the walking dead, shells of people. I'm not going to let them have that."

Photos: Historic portraits of war

On the first anniversary of Mike's death, his father had shared so many memories.

Robert was a single dad for a while. Mike came to live with him some of the time in suburban Atlanta.

I learned he was born prematurely and weighed only 4 pounds, 2 ounces. That he grew up with a scar on his chest where a tube was inserted to save his life when his left lung collapsed.

After Mike died, Robert looked at the autopsy reports. He realized his son's left lung had collapsed again.

Robert listened over and over to the last voice mail Mike left on his cell phone. He couldn't bear to close Mike's bank account, even though it held only $29.

He put me in his Ford Escape and took me to all the places in Atlanta that meant something to him as a father.

To the first apartment they shared after Robert and Mike's mom divorced. To the cemetery at Corinth Christian Church in the town of Loganville, where Mike is buried. I remember how he bought 12 gallons of water from a nearby convenience store for the grass around the headstone.

I ask him if he still visits the grave once a month. He tells me he does; that he keeps a watering can, hedge clippers and a bottle of Windex in his car in case of impromptu visits.

"I can't do anything else for Mike other than keep his grave up," he says.

I don't know what to say as silence makes the moment awkward. We both look down at our soup.

Then, he volunteers: "I know some people think I'm over the top."

I know that he's a father in pain.

I think of what he told me six years ago: He couldn't rest until he stood in the very spot where his son took his last breath.

He was like any other person who felt a need to see the place where a loved one died. Only this was not the scene of a car accident along a lonely Georgia highway. It was a place far away -- one of war.

The journey of his dreams

Robert bookmarked the spot where Mike died on Google Earth. Every day, he studied the images of green and taupe parcels of flat land.

He'd always been fascinated by geography. GPS, his family called him, because he memorized maps and never lost his way, even in an unfamiliar town.

He figured out that Yusufiya is about the same latitude as Sharpsburg, the town south of Atlanta that he calls home.

Robert Stokely always wears his son's dog tag around his neck. It's one way that he honors Mike.

Even before Mike died, Robert sat on his front porch at night, listened to crickets and gazed at the moon. He found solace in knowing that it was the same moon Mike saw only eight hours earlier.

Robert is the Coweta County solicitor and well connected in his community. He launched a scholarship foundation in Mike's name and spoke at veterans' events. He lobbied to have a highway honoring his son and invited me to the inauguration. I still have a plastic replica of the green road sign announcing "Sgt. Michael Stokely Memorial Highway" in my house.

But with every year, his yearning to see Iraq intensified.

He wrote about his desire in blogs pounded out on his computer on sleepless nights.

"It is important to me to go to the place where my son fell the night he died, kneel, and touch the soil and breathe the air," he wrote.

"Maybe, just maybe, I might even be able to do it even as the moon over Yusufiya rises."

Eventually, the people who run the nonprofit service group Soldiers' Angels saw the blog. They, in turn, contacted James Reese, a retired Delta Force officer who co-owns the security firm TigerSwan, to see if he could escort Robert to Yusufiya.

Reese wanted badly to help a father find his peace. But to take him to a war zone? Reese knew the risks were huge, but in the end, he agreed.

On Halloween night a year ago, Robert boarded a Delta flight at the Atlanta airport. He had never been aboard a plane as big as a Boeing 777 or traveled so far.

Veterans save a war hero's grave

He carried with him a marble plaque bearing Mike's name, date of birth and date of death. It also bore a Bible verse: "Thy sun shall not set, nor thy moon wane. The Lord almighty is your everlasting light."

Robert worried about placing the plaque on Muslim soil. He didn't want to offend anyone. But, he thought, it was small enough and it would be OK if he put it off the side of the road.

Robert took his seat and looked out the window. The moon wasn't as bright as the night Mike died, but Robert saw its glow. As the engines roared and the jet began its sprint down the runway, Robert began to cry.

"I'm coming, Mike," he whispered.

Almost there

Robert flew to Dubai and Amman and then to Baghdad. TigerSwan put him up at the firm's villa.

A few days later, he put on a helmet and a bulletproof vest and climbed clumsily into an armored Toyota Land Cruiser. Robert pauses his story to tell me that Mike -- always one for humor -- might have laughed at the sight of his dad's awkwardness.

I feel silly after I tell Robert that Mike would have been proud that his aging father had the fortitude to travel all that way. Of course, he knows.

Robert made sure his flak jacket vest bore his son's nametag. The Army only uses last names. "Stokely," it said.

Robert with Mike at Fort Stewart before Mike's National Guard unit left for Iraq in the summer of 2005.

One of Mike's friends had ripped it off his uniform when he died and held onto it for the rest of his yearlong tour. He'd given it to Robert when the grieving father met his son's unit at Fort Stewart.

That was the only piece of Mike's military uniform Robert had ever worn. Sometimes, he wore Mike's old polo shirts. But he had always told me he didn't deserve to wear anything that represented Mike's service.

As TigerSwan's convoy of five vehicles made its way south on the main highway from Baghdad, Robert sat calmly in the back seat of the Land Cruiser, a pocket-sized, camouflage-covered Bible in his hands. Inside, he shuddered.

TigerSwan personnel were on high alert after reports of violence that morning during a Shiite pilgrimage. They had intelligence that a suicide bomber was in the area.

Robert's convoy started running into Iraqi checkpoints. Soon, they had been diverted off their route. Robert had studied the maps and grid coordinates so many times that he knew exactly where they were: a mile and half away from the potato factory.

"Are we at about the 30-grid mark? We should be six, seven, eight miles to the east of Yusufiya," Robert said.

The security team marveled at Robert's knowledge of every road, every alley. He was determined to help get them to Yusufiya.

But after being turned away several times, TigerSwan's Reese felt it was too dangerous to go in. They would have to give up. They would have to return to Baghdad.

Overseas burial grounds honor America's fallen

Robert felt sick to his stomach. He was dry-heaving, so heartbroken that tears began flowing down his face.

He eyed the tree line and thought for a moment that he would gently open the car door and make a mad dash.

But he didn't. He had promised his family there would be no more tragedy.

He shakes his head as he finishes his story. "I was so close."

Making peace

I ask Robert how he lives with the thought that he missed the chance to see the place that haunted him. Is it worse that he tried and didn't make it?

He tells me he might have regrets except for what happened next in his journey to Iraq.

He met an Iraqi man who'd lost his son and nephew in a bombing. A trip across Baghdad was fraught with danger for him and his family.

That Iraqi father, Robert says, wants the same things in life that he does. But the Iraqi man's days are far more daunting.

At the Baghdad airport, Robert felt lucky to be going home to a safe place.

"I remember thinking that when we buried Mike, our war was over. But that father? He lives in uncertainty every day."

It was eerie hearing Robert's words. It's exactly how I had felt on my trips to Iraq. That word, uncertainty, had appeared in so many of my stories. I could not imagine how wretched it would be to live with that feeling all the time, to not know whether you'd survive a trip to the market and back.

I tell Robert that he looks more at ease now. He pauses and takes another sip of his water.

"I talk too much, you know," he says, smiling.

He still looks at the map. He still gazes upward at the moon. But he assures me he can go through an entire day now without thinking about Yusufiya.

It used to be a place on the map where Robert's son died. Now he thinks of it as a place that people call home.

The very first time I interviewed Robert, he told me that after his son was killed, he was no longer afraid to die. I realize now, after all these years, he is no longer afraid to live.

Read more »